Slapstick

My oldest daughter has just been watching a YouTube video of children falling over or off things, and some are obviously hurting themselves. The thing I find most disturbing is the parents continuing to film and laughing. It mirrors the response of a mother to her son falling up the steps at the cinema earlier today: uproarious laughter.

I'm a fan of some variants/practitioners of slapstick, and all in favour of my two finding out the hard way, but don't like the notion there's comedy to be gleaned from a child's misfortune.

Maybe I'm living in the wrong age, doing parenting wrong.

Or…

Cinema

Ordinary visits to the cinema of course provoke my tears, but not today's. The frankly inconsiderate, moronic behaviour of the phone users around me provoked me into doing something I'm not proud of, something terrible.

The woman in the row in front of us, when she wasn't talking with her children, surreptitiously turning on her phone, nearly-but-not hiding it with her hair and…

A teenager down the aisle was, I'm certain, recording large sections of the film, but the three selfies with flash were the last straw. So I got up, walked down the few a steps separating us, and told her to stop doing it and to turn the phone off.

The woman in front of us obviously saw it as a challenge so upped her game. Got up, stood in front of me asking her daughter…

We'd been lucky so far in our visits; I relish the chance to take the girls out, but I can see how, antisocial as it is, why subscription movies services and channels have flourished. Heck, my girls don't mind if I sit there in my underpants!

Well, ok, that last is a lie, sitting in my dressing gown is as bad as it gets.

Oh yes, the terrible thing.

I let my family down when, without retaining a sense of perspective, I swore at the teenager whilst ordering her about.

For what it's worth, I saw the majority of the film, and give it an easy 10/10 for the first 90 minutes before the distractions peaked. The soundtrack is amazing! and almost certainly one to buy. Baz's seal of approval.

Baz though? Baz does not, emphatically not, get the same courtesy.

Constipated

Conversations often bring up what seem to be the weirdest things. And then I think for a bit.

I've posted recently of the information overload I've experienced since the middle of 2016; it's had a lot of positives and fair share of negatives, but I've learnt about, well, me.

Constipation is a term I first came across courtesy of @schmidt_fu on either 10Centuries.org or pnut.io and it got me thinking. I said I'd think about it, so did.

Constipation:

"irregular and infrequent or difficult evacuation of the bowels; can be a symptom of intestinal obstruction or diverticulitis" (Definition from iOS Terminology app.)

Humans have evolved to consume various edible items (and, for pleasure, some plainly inedible or noxious), to process them and convert into nutrients, and finally to expel the resultant waste. Ok, not just humans, pretty-much everything alive on the planet operates in a similar fashion. What differs between us at the top, and those below us on the food chain, is our insatiable desire to consume, process, and to, er… talk about stuff.

Yeah, a bit short of suitable metaphors here; 'constipation' isn't a a bad pinnacle, right?

But there's only so far that balancing act between consumption and dissemination can take the average sane person. I gave up where someone with more confidence, more psychopathic tendencies would, has and will, advance further. I saw the effect on myself of the constant osmosis of facts and figures, and simply didn't like where it would take me.

That's not to say I removed myself entirely from the stimuli, that's impossible. Avoiding Brexit and Trump though, it's tantamount to acceptance, and I simply cannot roll over and submit to the propaganda machines rolling over pretty-much everything I've assumed would provide stability for me, my wife and, the reason large numbers of folks believe we're on this planet in the first place: my 2 lovely daughters.

Though we're not in the midst of an actual wartime, it'd be fair to say we live in times of unprecedented upheaval. And it's all stoppable in an instant if people simply come to their senses.

Chances of it happening? I think zero.

So, constipation, a recap:

"irregular and infrequent or difficult purging of the symptoms of stress brought on by an information overload; can be a symptom of the obstruction of regular thought processes or a response to stimuli outside an individual's sphere of influence".

My sphere of influence?

Around 1680mm diameter.

iOS

So here I am again, iOS!

Yes.

Bananas

I know I shouldn't but I did; I watched the BBC politics Q&A programme 'Question Time'. Brexit was discussed of course, and one particular commenter stood out.

Now I know I shouldn't categorise an entire voting side by the actions of one woman, but it's a telling thing she said; I'm paraphrasing here:

"I was going to vote Remain but changed my mind and voted to Leave. The day before I went into the supermarket and the bananas were all straight."

Now I know she's referring to an EU regulation stating that the fruit must be straight, a certain minimum size, probably to ensure commonality of packaging and to cut the cost of imports and…

It's all bollocks when viewed from any perspective, and has been since the worldwide ridicule dumped on the EU after it temporarily appeared on the statute books, before being withdrawn in 2008. So how the heck can she claim all the bananas were straight during June 2016‽ I've never, ever, seen a straight banana, but I'm not going to pretend I'm the ultimate arbiter of truth here.

She should be more concerned about the ridiculous waste imposed by our supermarkets' insistence that they pay the farmers peanuts whilst mandating perfect produce to meet a requirement they say consumers demand but which, when challenged, they can provide zero evidence of.

Nothing at all to do with the hated European Union's oppressive regulation.

So, are we living back in the nineteen-fifties yet?

Slag

My wife just called me a slag. I honestly cannot believe she meant it in connection with my unconventional delivery of ginger nut biscuits to Ruby dog; mouth-to-mouth. Surely not.

A period of self-analysis is thus required. So here I am, cogitating; ginger nuts in one hand, dog restraining the other.

Unfollowed

And then, in one smooth operation, I unfollowed all my Twitter political accounts… Which was nice.

Really, I know there's no avoiding politics now, but I have my limits.

So, a prelude to stepping away from Twitter and eventually Facebook, and spending more time at 10Centuries (with some coding on the cards.)

And yes, dabbling in pnut.io too.

Cancelled

After a rubbish day, a tale of woe: posts detailing a short journey from pleasure to disappointment, spanning around 3 hours:

:

OK, it looks as though my dream to rock up in a few days with an iPhone Plus, and start messing about with Workflows is at an end.

Financially it makes no sense, we'd like a holiday this year, and other things. So I went for a OnePlus 2: an older model, running on a Cyanogen variant with the potential to not get the Nougat upgrade; but the price, for a high-spec. phone with the big screen I crave, is very attractive.

£250 (around US$315) for this:

http://www.techradar.com/reviews/phones/mobile-phones/oneplus-2-1300253/review

Yes, I know you don't have time to read it. :)


(time passed…)


:

Well, that sucks. Scheduled to be delivered between 10pm & midnight, Amazon cancelled the order at 11:14pm, without giving me a reason. The twa


:

… I might as well go to bed. :(


So I did.

Screen (song)

My wife and daughters (when they're older!) might appreciate this song:

Screen: twenty one pilots.

They don't read my blog.

Christians

It's time to refer to people who are obviously not Christians as something else. Something from the Old Testament maybe; not Puritanical…?

I can think of a number of other descriptions that would be unacceptable to all but rabid activists. Now if you say alt-Christians I'd accuse you of jumping on a bandwagon, but it'd be a start.

alt-, disregarding the computer keyboard usage, used to refer to an alternative, was never used to mask true meaning and thus legitimise an unacceptable stance. Now, the alt-Right, far from being an alternative to it, is about as far right politically as it can be.

Neo- is the same. At their core the redefinitions are intended to hide… OK, when all is said and done it matters not what prefix is used; a Fascist is a Fascist, a Nazis a Nazi, a racist a racist, and a Cheeto-faced short-fingered vulgarian shitgibbon is, well…

Language usually evolves slowly; nuanced changes are the norm, but adoption of slang, buzzwords is driven considerably faster by technological development, wars.

Politics though?

Oh, that precedent!

We must look back only to the first third of the twentieth century, a time within living memory, to find widespread adoption of new social norms of the type that negatively impacted large swathes of the world's population.

Yes, the rise of National Socialism, the Nazis. They had a movement too! It too stirred up the population against those it deemed subhuman.

I'm not about to compare and/or contrast the Nazis with the grossly perverted and repressive practises enacted in the name of Communism. Suffice it to say the acts of subjugation, abductions, torture, deaths, all, all of them were carried out perfectly legally too. Laws made by executive decree and which wiped out any semblance of regard to the human dimension when lawmaking. Laws enacted in single countries without regard to the impact on their own citizens and the world at large. All enacted in the guise of making (country) great again.

The 1930s brought a number of organisations out in support of the Nazis. OK, maybe that's unfair, at least to the one I'm picking on to flesh this out: the 'America First Committee' . Setup after the start of World War 2 their core beliefs centred around building defences to keep the world from inflicting the war upon America. In simple analysis a noble ideal: look after your own first. The world had changed irrevocably since.

What hasn't though, simple ignorance. If I was being charitable I'd say it was a desire to hold on to traditional values. But I'm not being charitable.

I read a series of tweets earlier today from an American, an ex-military man, an egg injured in the line of duty whilst stationed in Iraq. Gross in their extreme as the tweets were, he seemed to truly believe his Christianity, his military service and especially his injury, all qualified him to ignore the humanity of those born in other countries. He detailed precisely how and where he'd kill them, which munitions he'd use. His statements on the Koran's commandment to kill everyone not of the faith were genuinely held. But 'genuine' cannot be conflated with well-informed.

Finally, he believed his government would look after him personally, owed him a debt of gratitude. Now I read only his side of the many conversations, and came to two conclusions. He was either:

  • Trolling or
  • Genuine.

In the latter case its probably appropriate to consider the impact of his protest vote personally. He may need healthcare, may as an ex-serviceman rely on a small income, may be reliant on food stamps… But the bit that I cannot help thinking of, the simple fact that he was wounded. His president is on record as stating his utter absence of respect for someone who allowed themselves to be captured and faced years of brutal torture whilst on duty. So to think oneself special after carelessly allowing the enemy to draw blood? No, sorry, not worthy. Here we go, back again to Schadenfreude.

Back for a moment to the notion that Muslims must kill all nonbelievers: Within the Bible, and the Torah the book of Deuteronomy is easy to find, which implies wilful ignorance on the part of pretty much everyone who calls the enrire Muslim world terroristic.

They have my scorn, the time for acceptance in the name of expediency is over. That's not to say I will not take the time to understand different viewpoints, far from it. But some causes are hopeless.

Ignorance, it's the cornerstone of whatever the hell is happening in this world right now. A desire to ignore the realities of injustice, of social and economic change, a desire to return to the past, a past in which life was fundamentally simpler.

So yes, it's time we chose a different word for those who call themselves Christians but hold none of the core beliefs. A term that encompasses their fire-and-brimstone approach to those worshipping at different altars, their ignoring of the broken stranger in the road, the repulsion towards the refugee fleeing crises unimaginable even in times of previous conflict. It's time those holding pre-Christian beliefs were given personal responsibility for, shown the consequences of, their actions.

No, I really do not know what term I'd apply. I'm a simple man, see. It says so in my bio.


Disclosure: You should know that, whilst I call myself an atheist, I'm not singling out Christianity here, simply hypocrisy. I visit the local church a few times a year with my girls and often feel slightly awkward that these people welcome me without an inquisition. That said I hold many Christian values because it seems right to do so. And, I must say, I have a yearning to know more about the tenets, the core, of basic Buddhism.