57 jersey

Yesterday evening I risked life and limb, my life and limb, clambering over the remains of DIY projects, half-abandoned bicycles and old computers, and lifting and opening box after box, in the pursuit of a football jersey. Not just any football jersey, but one bought at beginning of my life as a dad and the end of my life as a regular American Football fan.

I have to say it must have shrunk in the box, it no longer fits in quite the same way as it did when I knew why I'd bought that jersey. So yesterday evening I searched here and the Internet at large and the reason became clear.

Finding it, a replica #57jersey, brought back yet more memories of a road trip at the start of the 2004 season. Starting with the Wauseon Indians HS team (beat Swanton), following up with Bowling Green (beat SE Missouri State), and culminating in an extraordinary day in the company of the Browns (who beat the Ravens!)

The icing on the cake: meeting Kevin Mack (who signed a practice ball for me), Dante Lavelli and his wife, and Sam Rutigliano and his wife. Yes, I was very much over-awed (and rendered part-mute by a miserable ear infection.)

I'll admit I wasn't a fan of any of the teams we saw over the week, but it didn't matter, it's football!

#57,Clay Matthews Jr., by any measure one of Football's all-time Linebacker greats, but likely destined never to reach the Pro Football Hall of Fame (I've been there too!) He seems to have been in the wrong place (Cleveland) at the wrong time (all sixteen years before he left for the last three of his career); it's got to hurt.

Right now, I'm looking at Reddit's r/Browns multiple time's a day (even on the toilet, but shhh…), professing nothing but attempting in my singularly-inept fashion to absorb, er… stuff. It's an uphill task even attempting to chat with folks bringing the conversation down to my level! So I tried the #browns IRC channel! It's friendly, quiet (ok, almost unused right now; and that suits me just fine.) I've also looked for podcasts to fall asleep to, thinking I'll be able to subliminally absorb chat and regurgitate on-demand.

Yeah… no.

The summary, before I overwhelm myself with words: I can feel something stirring again.

redditor

I'm using Reddit again and, in some respects, again regretting it. Not the small number of negative comments my leading question in r/Browns (the Cleveland Browns NFL subreddit) inspired, no; it's the capriciousness of users' up- and down-voting, where incomplete answers and sarcastic comments gain more 'positivity' than…

Oh, look here:

HELP Its been a while since I used solidworks and I forgot how to read and use the hole callout to create a threaded hole.

Or (shrugs) don't look there. My answer was genuinely useful and pretty-much complete, the original poster (OP) even thanked me.

Has it put me off in the same way recent unwarranted post deletions at Fark.com actually have?

No, it's the nature of the beast that is Reddit.

Celebrity Death Pool

Chatting at work, at brew and lunchtime as you do, we got into the subject of celebrity death pools; pick a celeb you believe most likely to die. You know, harmless fun.

I've two:

  • Ayman Al-Zawahiri
  • Vera Lynn

Something of a contrast there.

Time-limited

\#QuoteSunday (a tradition on pnut.io):

"It is a little known fact that Professor Stephen Hawking (RIP) invented all of the financial instruments backing the concept popularly known as Quantitative Easing, thereby saving the British economy from ruin during the dark times following the unprecedented and utterly-unforeseeable Great Squeeze." - Sir Winston Churchill, Chancellor of the Exchequer (1924-1929).

Coty

A conversation about dog breeds (one of the family mentioned the noble 'Leerdammer') and this morning's terrorism news (they don't want their citizenship to be revoked) prompted a search for a once well-known cosmetics brand. Here's the statement from the Google summary of their web site (my emphasis):

"Coty is a global beauty company making cosmetic, skin, fragrance & hair brands. We positively disrupt to create a radically inclusive world of beauty."

What the Fark, how bereft of original ideas must their PR team be, swallowing a buzzword dictionary to get to those ridicul

Farkisms

I responded to this Fark.com forum post:

"The farkisms page seems somewhat put of date. Can we suggest some updates?" (Link goes to Farkisms, a somewhat stale list of sayings or memes used quite often at Fark.)

It was unfortunately redlit (not accepted for inclusion on the main page) so you probably won't see it.

My reply:

--

Of our times, a couple or three to spark comment:

  • D2S / Donnie Two Scoops - the predisent of the Disunited States of America; known for his insistence on two (2) scoops of frozen dessert vs his guests' one (1). AKA 45, a sequential number assigned to him on not winning the popular vote in the 2016 Presidential Election. Compared unfavourably to even the 43rd holder of one of the numbers.

  • Snekretary - a serpently figure of fun based on the one-time White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, also a figure of fun due in no small part to his creativity with truthiness in behalf of his boss. Arch-nemesis: the Mongoose. See impaler

  • Welcome to Fark - a phrase or pictorial meme offered as evidence, an easy rebuttal of sorts, of another poster's ineptitude in assessing a situation they advanced an opinion on.

--

If you're not a Farker (or work with me) this is probably as meaningless as my last-but-one post.

Hawking

"Remember to look up at the stars." - Stephen Hawking.

Shush

There is apparently a social convention that, when the adult in charge of a group of children in church repeatedly tries but fails to stop them talking, one must not turn round and tell them, other people's children that is, to shut up.

Well, that's a bit crap isn't it.

Usual

Today I achieved a lifetime's ambition, the middle finger of a man extended in my specific direction. It happens only after the phrase "Usual message", uttered (or blurted) in his presence; oddly the context is, unusually, utterly irrelevant.

Here, by the way, that precise combination of words is inextricably linked to the notion the man may, or may not, be most easily described by another word rhyming with 'crunt'. But I've seen no evidence whatsoever of his 'cruntiness'.)

Thanks sir; even though mine was accidental, it still makes me feel good to be number one.

If you don't work with me this'll make no sense.

Random

Regarding Donald Trump's uncanny ability to toss a word salad:

Someone ought to deaf-sign (BSL) what he says, run that through a round of Chinese Whispers, and translate back into English after filtering through a Khoisan language speaker without technical knowledge of, er… pretty much anything. When that's done, ROT-13 it and run it through a battery of mathematical transformations executed on a sub-120MHz Pentium.

See, nothing random there.

(First posted at Fark.com.)

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