I looked over earlier, spied my wife eating milk chocolate, decided to emulate the dog so knelt down in front of the settee. Getting no satisfaction I shifted position, into a wet patch Ruby dog had created not long previously.
It was cold (it'd been sprayed.)
I… I looked up after a stifled expletive, to find my wife laughing. The chocolate? All gone of course.
Don't attempt to emulate the dog, you can't beat millennia of evolution.
I know my place.